..
La anciana avanzaba cojeando, lentamente, por el camino arruinado, convertido solo en una huella de barro.
Algunos cráteres de explosión se encontraban a ambos lados del camino y un tanque destruido humeaba al borde de él.
La vieja caminaba con la mirada perdida en el horizonte, cargando con las pocas pertenencias que le quedaban en un pequeño bulto. Una vez más, miró hacía atrás, donde había quedado todos los esfuerzos de su vida, todo su pasado, muerto y enterrado.
Suspiró y continuó su lenta y cansada marcha, cuando algo se movió dentro de un cráter al borde del camino.
Miró aprehensivamente, mientras sujetaba temerosa sus pertenencias, pero del cráter apareció tan solo un pequeño niño, vestido con harapos, que se paró al borde del cráter y la quedó mirando fijamente. La anciana buscó entonces con la mirada por la llanura, en busca de los padres del niño, pero tan solo se encontraban en ese páramo ella, el pequeño y el aullante viento.
La anciana dio otro suspiro y reemprendió su camino, avanzando torpemente por el barro, mientras el pequeño la miraba desde el borde del cráter.
La anciana se detuvo entonces. Dio vuelta y una vez más miró hacía atrás y su pasado, viendo al niño en el camino. Extendió entonces su huesuda y vieja mano al viento, pero a ella se aferró una pequeña manito, embarrada y herida. El niño y la anciana prosiguieron el camino, tomados de la mano, avanzando hacía el triste y plano horizonte, dejando atrás las heridas de la guerra y destrucción a sus espaldas.
Labels: cuentos y creaciones literarias
339 Comments:
Interesante, me gustan los cuentos cortos, este está bastante bueno, pero debo destacar dos detalles:
1º, está escrito como telegrama
2º Repites mucho la palabre crátel, busca sinónimos o reemplazala por un pronombe
Salud
Bz
alex!!! =)
wnn .. la cago escribis la raja =P jajaj .. = te lo e dixo kaleta de veces =)
oye wnnn ke vamo a aser con el grafitti =S .. weno ai vemo =S
jajaj ... hoy tuvimo asendo la coreografìa del video y no esta muy wena =S
weno ... nose ke mas decirte ... mmm ... alex wnn vos vay a ser escritor y vas a escribir unas novelas de guerra y con un protagonista y vas a ser famoso y vas a ser multimillonario y me vas a invitar a tu mansion en unos años mas .... ( y no va a impoortar mucho ke no te vaya bien en mate :P jajajaj )
weno ya toy puro pelando cables .. nos vemoss ke tes benn shaoo
no vemo el juees trata de aser un par de boskejos pa el grafitti .. as uno con grafitti y auto = ...
shaoo
hey blog? o fotolog? lo digo x el jugo d ese post d arriba xD
naa mentira.
el graffiti fue un fiasco a fin de cuentas!!!! en vola cn el negro ps tomy!!! jajaja
yia en fin, esto siempre se confund cn un flog eh? :P ya adios!
buen cuento, me gusto.
szxchau!
Hola
Me parece una historia muy interesante. A pesar de ser un tema bastante frecuente en lo que al tema guerra se refiere, está muy bien escrito y logra completamente su objetivo ( por lo menos desde mi punto de vista ).
Tienes pasta de escritor Alex.
Richard
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